Change and Growth

Everything in life has a rhythm. The more I look back at my life, the more I realise that everything has a flow. There are times when you are in a rut, when you can’t get out, and everything seems to be hard work. Then there are times when everything is easy and life is great. These times are rare.

So when times are great and everything is easy, that’s the time to make the most of life. But in reality, these periods are relatively short in our lives. The rest of the time we must work hard to push through those tough periods when nothing seems to be going right. Even when things are flowing okay, we still have to work hard.

I derive a lot of my experience from my sporting days. There were days when you saw the cricket ball as big as a basketball and everything just went your way. Then there were days, even though you’d worked hard, that didn’t go your way.

I’ve been very lucky to have a marriage that flows pretty easily. The biggest thing for us is to realize when connecting. If either one of us does not feel like we connected the other we are open and honest enough with each other to tell that person. We then make the time to talk and engage to ensure that we do reconnect and feel love and respect for each other that we have always had. 

Due to my growth this year I am more independent and stronger as a result of the work I have done. So the last year I have changed significantly. As a result this has changed dynamics in our relationship. I no longer have to rely on Kim to support me emotionally as much as I did previously. This is a great thing, but can also be a great challenge as well.

It has been imperative that I understand that my change and growth will also affect Kim as well. So, like all things that are fluid and evolving, so must be our relationship. Because of the love and respect we have for each other, it has been a blessing that we are open and honest when things have been a challenge.

Sometimes hearing the truth can hurt your pride or ego.  By letting that go and listening to the person you love can help you understand them, but also understand you even better. Only then can you grow and develop an even better relationship.

When I started down this path of growth and self awareness nearly 12 months ago, I had no idea where it was going to take me. I didn’t know it was going to challenge me as much as it did. I didn’t know I was going to get worse before my life got better. But once you open the lock and walk through that door, you cannot open it.

And when I found for me is I want to keep challenging myself. I want to keep growing. I want to keep learning. But more importantly, I will make a difference and impact in this world.

It is addictive. The learning. The self-awareness. All of it. It is all very addictive.

Now that I’m more self-aware, I have to ensure that I continue to communicate with those around me. Especially those closest to me. Because of the excitement and desire of further fulfilment, it is really important to involve those around me.

Since going through my processes to allow me to deal with my child abuse and depression issues, my overall daily challenges have changed. Instead of just trying to to survive from day-to-day, other little daily issues arrive that I’m not used to dealing with. This is all new to me. And though my new self-awareness is great, these new self-awareness issues have been a new challenge.

I look at it as if I have been playing football all my life. I developed all the skills to play the game and it allowed me to get through every game as best I could. All of a sudden I’ve been asked to play ice hockey. A totally different game, different skills, different rules, and yet I still have to get through every game as best as I can.

That’s what the last six months or more has been like for me. It’s been a new game and has been new challenges. I’m just so grateful that the person I am playing my life game with his help me with the rules and the new skills I need to acquire.

The most important skills needed in our game of life is communication, love, compassion, empathy, understanding, respect, trust and properly most importantly, listen.

So take a step back and look at it from the other person’s perspective. It will help you see yourself in a different light and also help you grow. This will in turn also help you understand the other person more and develop an even greater depth in your relationship.

In the world needs a whole lot more of that.